Quote of the Day (2011-05-23)

Peter Joshua: Is there a Mr. Lampert?

Reggie Lampert: Yes.

Peter Joshua: Good for you.

Reggie Lampert: No it isn't, I'm getting a divorce.

Peter Joshua: Please! Not on my account.

Source: Charade

Quote of the Day (2011-05-22)

Sally Albright: How much worse can it get than finishing dinner, having him reach over, pull a hair out of my head and start flossing with it at the table?

Source: When Harry Met Sally

Quote of the Day (2011-05-21)

"We're friends. If I'm going to be uncomfortable, you gotta be uncomfortable too!"

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2011-05-20)

Sir Humphrey: "Arnold, are you suggesting that I should have the Prime Minister crawling all over Salisbury Plain, with a mine detector in one hand and a packet of Winalot in the other?"

Sir Arnold: "It would probably do Britain less harm than anything else he is likely to be doing."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2011-05-19)

Marge: [to Bart] Now we have to find another school for you.

Homer: And if you get kicked out of that one, you're going straight in the army, where you'll be sent straight to America's latest military quagmire. Where will it be? North Korea? Iran? Anything's possible with Commander Cuckoo-Bananas in charge.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2011-05-18)

Sam Baldwin: Well I'm not looking for a mail-order bride! I just want somebody I can have a decent conversation with over dinner. Without it falling down into weepy tears over some movie!

Greg: She's, as you just saw, very emotional.

Sam Baldwin: Although I cried at the end of "the Dirty Dozen."

Greg: Who didn't?

Sam Baldwin: Jim Brown was throwing these hand grenades down these airshafts. And Richard Jaeckel and Lee Marvin

[Begins to cry]

Sam Baldwin: were sitting on top of this armored personnel carrier, dressed up like Nazis...

Greg: [Crying too] Stop, stop!

Sam Baldwin: And Trini Lopez...

Greg: Yes, Trini Lopez!

Sam Baldwin: He busted his neck while they were parachuting down behind the Nazi lines...

Greg: Stop.

Sam Baldwin: And Richard Jaeckel - at the beginning he had on this shiny helmet...

Greg: [Crying harder] Please no more. Oh God! I loved that movie.

Source: Sleepless in Seattle

Quote of the Day (2011-05-17)

ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. What knight lives in that castle?

OLD WOMAN: No one live there.

ARTHUR: Well, who is your lord?

OLD WOMAN: We don't have a lord.

ARTHUR: What?

DENNIS: I told you, We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune, we take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.

ARTHUR: Yes.

DENNIS: ... But all the decision of that officer ...

ARTHUR: Yes, I see.

DENNIS: ... must be approved at a bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs.

ARTHUR: Be quiet!

DENNIS: ... but a two-thirds majority ...

ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to shut up.

OLD WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?

ARTHUR: I am your king!

OLD WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2011-05-16)

Father Sean: [recalling what St. Peter said to him] Sean, you wanker, repent of your sins or sod off.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2011-05-15)

Archie Bunker: You'd better start mixing toothpaste with your shampoo. You're getting a cavity in your brain.

Source: All in the Family

Quote of the Day (2011-05-11)

Sir Humphrey: "Well, we can always try to persuade them [the BBC] to withdraw programs voluntarily, once they realize that transmission is not in the public interest."

Jim Hacker: "Well, it is not in my interest. And I represent the public, so it is not in the public interest."

Sir Humphrey: "That's a novel argument. We haven't tried that on them before."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2011-05-10)

Evelle: Do they blow up in funny shapes?

Grocer: Nope. Unless round's funny.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2011-05-09)

George: "I was free and clear. I was living the dream. I was stripped to the waist eating a block of cheese the size of a car battery."

Jerry: "Before we go any further, I'd just like to point out how disturbing it is that you equate eating a block of cheese with some sort of bachelor paradise."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2011-05-08)

Lester Burnham: [narrating] Both my wife and daughter think I'm this gigantic loser and they're right, I have lost something. I'm not exactly sure what it is but I know I didn't always feel this... sedated.

Source: American Beauty

Quote of the Day (2011-05-07)

Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss*.

Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us*.

Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm*.

Fezzik: He's really very short on *charm*.

Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.

Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.

Vizzini: Enough of that.

Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?

Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.

Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it.

Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?

Vizzini: DYEEAAHHHHHH.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2011-05-06)

"Because if I watch it at my apartment I feel like I'm not doing anything. If I watch it here, I'm out of the house; I'm doing something."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2011-05-05)

Mrs. Griffith: I'm the guidance counselor; I should know all the students, especially the ones that dress like prostitutes.

Source: Easy A

Quote of the Day (2011-05-04)

I've had worse.

Source: Holy Grail